Religious India

About a couple of years ago I got a chance to visit one of the most sacred place near Ramgarh called Neemsar. Ramgarh is a village near Lucknow in the hinterlands of UP. People here have a lot of faith in the temples of Neemsar. Excuse my thoughts if I’m hurting anyone’s sentiments and my due apologies to them but the feeling that I got after visiting the place was not very pleasant. The temple was very dirty. The sweets being sold for Prasad were full of flies and not to mention the crowd. Inside the temple there were donation boxes everywhere and the pujaris inside also didn’t fail to remind you of the donation that should be made to make you a god lover. And yes I forgot to mention the most important thing, the darshan of the diety for which we had gone. Once inside the temple I didn’t even get to see the diety because of the crowd and the pushing and shoving.

Isn’t the visit to a temple or a shrine supposed to bring peace and calmness instead of arousing the thoughts that I’m having. And this has been my experience with almost all the shrines and temples that I’ve been to. What’s the point of going all the way to a temple when you can’t even see the deity at peace, without being pushed and shoveled?

I will not get into the debate of whether god exists or not and whether we should believe in him or not. I believe in God. For me God is someone I can look up to. Someone out there watching us. For me God is Hope. So I’d rather believe in him sitting at home rather than going to temples in search of him.

Just a Thought: Three

So many times God is sending us signals but we simply refuse to see them... but then that's why we are humans

(Dis)Illusioned

It’s worth noting that despite all the “gyaan” and wordly wise, clichéd suggestions freely available and one being aware of them, it becomes highly difficult when one has to implement the same obvious things in their own lives. When a 20 year old something begins to lose the brashness that comes with the age and begins to feel disillusioned, then an alarm bell should ring somewhere.

Why is it that despite knowing that life is short, unpredictable and worth living in the moment, one keeps screwing up the present for a future which never seems to arrive. The future is like that elusive mountain summit, forever in sight but always out of reach. One keeps sacrificing and working hard thinking that now’s the time to do it. Let me struggle now for a better future, but when does that future come – Boards, college, first job, post graduation, good paying job, marriage, kids, kids marriage - when???

One talks about the mid-life crisis but I see a quarter life syndrome creeping in. One begins to feel the heat if by 20 something one doesn’t know what to do with his/her life. Listen to “the sunscreen song” and you’ll know what my take on this is. I think it’s time I stop writing and listen to the above mentioned song and pick up some useful advice.

Accommodating

I’ll begin with the question when do you stop to compromise, adjust, understand or accommodate in a situation. Some people will be of the view that why should one do all the above things in the first place. Just go on and do the things you believe in and to hell with the world and the people who don’t think the way you do. Why the hell do you need to compromise? However that’s not how things are and one has to keep a fine balance between the two ways of looking at things and choose the middle path. That brings us to the question where to draw the line and the need to draw the line altogether? Till when to adjust and when to put your foot down?

You do the “right things” and are “Mr. Nice”. Not complaining, always smiling etc. and that’s indication enough for people to not take your concerns seriously. Ok I’ll accommodate because that’s what I believe in, in not being difficult and not causing any hassel to anyone but for how long? Don’t people start taking you for a ride and take undue advantage of your cooperation. Maybe even stop valuing you as you are Mr. No Issues. “Nice guys finish last” – how true is that? I might sound cynical here but isn’t that the way things truly are?

A large section of people will of the view that the people themselves are responsible for this state. You get pushed because you let people push you but then aren’t the people also pushing these guys to be what they are not? These people are genuinely nice, simple people who believe in going about doing their jobs and following certain value system. By not taking their concerns seriously when put across by them you are forcing them to be manipulative to get what is truly theirs. Some of these guys change in the garb of “practicality” and a lot of them don’t as it’s simply not them and in the event get “pushed”.

Why should the question arise of drawing the line? Are we scared of taking a stand? Are we afraid of what people will think if we don't agree with them or be very different in our thought process?

I think it's important to take a stand, at least when the situation demands..

Farewell

Just when you feel that finally things are working out and you begin to dream about a pleasant future, plan how the coming years are going to be, all it takes is a second to make it all come crashing down. Yes, one painful second that can change your life forever. That second of helplessness when you are hearing those dreaded words, praying to God all the while that somehow some miracle can happen, time can stop or go back a bit or somehow you can win this loosing battle, you realize how one second and one five letter word can bring your world crashing down.

The realization sets in that you might never be able see that adorable face again. There were so many things that were yet to be done, yet to be said. You realize that all the things that you fought over were so trivial and that you’ll let her have her way all the time, only if she could come back. You’d listen to her all time and always do whatever she says, only if she could come back.

There are so many questions brewing up in your mind at this point of time. All the talk about fairness and justice and God being with you all the time. That whatever God does is for the best. Just tell me, where is the fairness and justice in God taking away someone who is so young, who just started her life, married nine months ago, who believed in him and prayed to Him every day. Where is the fairness and justice for a boy who was building a life for himself, was getting responsible and had left all bad habits purely for the love of his life? Where is the fairness and justice by taking away all that he lived for?

I guess there are no answers to these questions but the only thing that I can take solace in is that maybe she was God’s favorite child and she’s with Him now, in a much better place. Wherever you are, I pray and wish that it’s a much better place and you are much happier there. It was indeed an honor and privilege to be able to be a part of your life for whatever little time I could.

I’ll really miss you a lot Bhabhi.

Just a Thought: Two

Being on the other side of the table never hurt so much.

Letting Go

The more one begins to loose control over things, the harder one tries to grab it. It’s very interesting to observe how people begin to behave once they begin to feel that they are loosing power over something/somebody they once controlled. Take the case of people who are at the helm of affairs and are nearing their retirement. It gives them nightmares to think of the day when they’ll have to step down and get lost into the by lanes of anonymity, struggling to find a way back into the main stream. Similarly, the patriarchs of the family find it very hard to accept that the next generation is ready to take over and capable of taking decisions. It’s very difficult for them to decentralize the decision making process as they begin to feel that they are loosing their importance in the family.

It’s not a very desirable position to be in but like it or not everyone has to deal with it one day. The more prepared one is to do this, the easier it becomes to let go. This is precisely why the world stands up and takes notice (maybe even appreciates) people who have the courage to realize that it’s time to go and gracefully hand over the reigns they had controlled so far. It’s not easy to hand over your “baby” to someone else but then it’s better to walk away than to spoil your child’s future. Maybe letting go is the best option for the “baby” and for you.

These are difficult situations to be in and I hope that when my time comes I’m able to behave in a manner that is line with what the situation demands. After all letting go is much tougher than holding on.

Just a Thought: One

The noise within overpowers the calm around and causes disturbance. However, internal silence drowns all the chaos to bring in peace.

To be or not to be

To be or not to be. It’s quite a difficult question faced by a lot of us. It’s that constant conflict between what one is supposed to do and what one wants to do. It’s a constant challenge to one’s individuality. No matter what the so called intelligentsia and the drawing room discussions brag about believing in oneself and following one’s own path, the truth is far away. The reality is quite different. It takes quite a lot of courage to believe in oneself and try and to maintain one’s individuality in a world that is constantly trying to change you, a world that wants to breed conformists rather than thinkers who move you out of the comfort zone.

However, at the risk of sounding like one of the parties above I believe that the power of the youth can enable them to take the path not trodden. It’s in this period of one’s life cycle that one has the liberty to take risks, falter, make mistakes and still not loose too much. Life’s long and there’s enough time to catch up. If one cannot stand by one’s beliefs when the blood is hot and young, then will someone take a stand when there is a family to support? I guess not.

I strongly believe that unless we, the youth give it a serious thought and believe that it’s not that difficult after all, that we can be ourselves without being squashed, the future generation might inherent a very different world. It’s time that the smart, educated youth who are so talented start questioning and not doing things because they are supposed to do it else a job, a placement, a career defining opportunity, a B-school admission might get jeopardized. It’s time they realized that no one in this world has the power to screw your life till the time you believe that they have. It’s time that we stop existing and start living.

Behaviors

Sitting in my room this evening I was in a mood to introspect and one thing that instantly came to my mind was the way people behave in different situations. Living with 178 students with varied backgrounds (academically and geographically) it has been a hell of a ride, trying to understand human behavior. Working in various teams from the committee to the academic groups to the various interest groups in college one has to deal with people of various temperaments and working styles.

One thing that amuses me the most is that though people are expected to behave rationally, they do just the opposite. I think the reason for this that there is an underlying insecurity among people about something or the other which makes them behave in a way in which they are not expected to. However, in doing so they expose that very insecurity of theirs which would otherwise have been concealed had they been a bit rational in their behavior.

There could be a number of reasons for this insecurity like people not being comfortable with themselves, not being able to accept certain shortcomings in themselves, trying to be someone else so that people form a certain perception about them. For example a studious, serious person will try to be humorous just to be a part of a group, or a jovial, happy go lucky person will try to behave like an intellectual so that people don’t think that he’s good for nothing. Now what these people don’t understand is that in trying to be something else the group might not accept them anyway. Also a group of friends requires all sorts of people. It’s got to be a healthy blend of serious, intellectual, jovial, humorous people. Each one brings something to the table and each has his own importance in the group. The moment people can get rid of these insecurities and accept that each individual is different and everyone has some shortcomings, I think they’ll start behaving more rationally.