The Butterfly Effect

What if I had the power to change one incident in my life, what would it be and would that be significant enough in the scheme of things. To begin with I don’t take the thought seriously and believe that no one incident can be that significant that it could alter the way my life spanned out, but on second thoughts maybe it does.

To begin with what if my father didn’t live in a small town of Uttar Pradesh but in a bigger place where better schooling options were available. I wouldn’t have gone to a boarding school in Dehra Dun and spent the best 12 years of my life. Even if he did and I did go to Welham, what if a number of small things that happened didn’t happen, would that change anything in my life. I don’t know. What if I cleared CAT in the first go, etc. etc. The list can go on and on.

However, the fact is that those things did happen and I’m the way I was meant and supposed to be, sitting here writing this stupid piece and I don’t regret anything one bit. But I would like to leave you with this thought:

”It has been said that something as small as the flutter of a butterfly’s wing can ultimately cause a typhoon halfway around the world” – Chaos Theory

Slowing down

The struggle to hurry up starts right from the moment I get up. The mind starts shouting the moment I touch the tooth brush. RUSH! RUSH! RUSH! and it never stops the entire day. Forget the day, it never stops during the entire week. Even when I sit down to enjoy the melting butter on the bun, something inside shouts – RUN! RUN! RUN!

In the 24 hour slot allotted to us from up above we need to squeeze in the never ending work, the tedious travel to office to do something you are absolutely not looking forward to and not to forget some stuff you actually like (including facebooking ;) ). In the midst of all the things that I love and not love “to do”, I forget that not doing anything is also an option. Lazying around suddenly seems so out of fashion.

So when the weather becomes absolutely wonderful and shouts out to me that hey notice me, I decided to slow down a bit and take that leisurely stroll on the terrace with a cup of hot tea in my hand, just soaking in the beauty around me. Not doing anything could be so blissful. Guess I need to add a thing in my to-do list – “Don’t do anything”.

What would you rather have

What would you rather have:

An envious address with no company

Or any other place with people who matter

Just a Thought: Thirteen

Between the hectic weekdays and lazy weekends

Somewhere there

Lies Life

Relative

More often than not we compare people, things, cultures, countries and all other possible things under the sun and more often than not the comparison tends to be absolute. However, I think most of it is just relative.

For example, one of the favorite lines of the older generation is that in our times life was simple and people were sincere. I wouldn’t like to agree with that. Corruption, deceit and complexity has been a part of society since it’s inception. Whether you go back to Alexander’s time or Chanayakya’s, whether you read the Mahabharat or the Ramayan, these things have been prevalent. The partition of India was not a result of a simple society, full of principles. Similarly, the English nobility or the English gentleman was not some saintly figure who was an embodiment of fairness and truth.

I think all these comparisons are relative and the setting and circumstances should be taken into consideration while comparing.

Just a Thought: Twelve

No matter how sunny life is

The heart loves to chase clouds

The fine line of morality and ethics

The anti corruption wave is the in thing these days and corruption has become a coffee table topic. Everyone has a view on it. Whether it be the colleagues in the cafeteria, the guards, the bus drivers, conductors and auto drivers or your own flat mates and domestic help. The views on corruption and morality differ from people to people and it’s difficult to draw the Line of Control separating the two states.

My view too is quite grey and I’m unable to take a clear stand on this issue. However, what I definitely believe is that the real test of one’s character, morality and ethical beliefs comes into picture when one is pushed to the walls and is then expected to behave in a particular manner. It’s very easy to sit in your drawing room and have a view that no matter happens stealing is not the right thing to do. What’s important is that if you have a family of 5 to feed and there’s not a single rupee in your pocket, what would you do? Which side of the LOC would you be on? Would being perceived right or wrong or holding on to your beliefs be more important or feeding your family. I know this example is not suited to the situation our country is in and our politicians are anything but starving, but it’s a fine test of morality and ethics.

On the other hand, if you know that getting into a prestigious college/B-school can be an important catalyst to your career and your father or uncle can help you get an admission with their influence, would you take that option or “waste” a year or opportunity and take the “right” path. It’s small situations like these from where corruption stems. Rigging the electricity meters, paying touts to obtain driving license and passports for the sake of convenience, sending gifts to your insurance agent to make sure that your claim is processed are small everyday practices that we are accustomed to. It’s the big scams that plague our country and make the headlines, but it’s these small everyday “realities” from where they stem and all of us have our part to play in it.

As I said before there is not a clear line of distinction between moral and amoral and ethical and unethical and it’s a fine line dividing the two.

Just a Thought: Eleven

The dark cloud also makes the world a more beautiful place

A Walk In The Rain

The clouds cast a dark shadow and the man walking back home hopes that the rain gods are kind today. It’s been a while since he took a walk in the rain. He could have asked for anything at that moment as soon he smelt the rain on dry ground. His mood lightened and soon he starts to think of the success he had had so far and begins to get in a self-congratulatory mode. He is smiling to himself thinking of how he overcame many obstacles to reach to the present state, not once thinking of those who had made many sacrifices on the way and had never even bothered to mention it.

Soon the smile vanishes from his face as he realizes that despite all the so called success there is something missing in his life. There is a sort of discontentment and he is constantly looking for answers to some unanswered questions (which in the first place have been raised by him only). Another question raised and as always it is left unanswered.

The fact is there are no answers. There are many men and women walking in the rain, with the same conflicts going on in their minds. The feeling of working so hard and achieving something worthy of writing back home about, sacrificing a lot on the way and yet being unsatisfied is perplexing. The point is reaching this point is not the hard part, it’s the easy one. Bringing people along is the hard part. Recognizing the part of the loved ones in your success, their sacrifices, their feelings and pausing to look at things from their perspective also.

Maybe a walk in the rain will help in doing the hard part.

Just a Thought: Ten

I'm not upset because I can't live the way I want

I'm upset because others don't live the way I want them to

And my influence on them and their lives is zero

Proud to be on the “Other Side”

I read a very interesting thing lately wherein Sir Mark Tully highlights how kids need to identify with something and feel recognized. It could be through their exceptional academic, sports or co-curricular record or through being a rebel. Mediocrity wins no awards so one has to be on either extreme to be in the thick of things and be recognized. It could be the on the “right side” by being a bright child or on the “other side” by being a rebel.

Maybe at times even I am proud to be on the “other side” for similar reasons.

India Marches On

It indeed is a momentous day as the Indian cricket team yet again beat Pakistan in a World Cup game to enter the finals of the World Cup. I must say the Indian cricket team marches on despite it’s charismatic leader. It compels me to think of the discussions that how the Indian economy prospers despite it’s politicians.

The commitment and performance of India Inc post liberalization has propelled India to a high growth period despite the logics, policies and scams that the leaders of this country have to offer. The Indian cricket team also refuses to lie low and continues to reach new heights despite the actions or “no actions” of it’s very "able" leader. Hope that they continue to do so and get the cup home this time. J

World Without End

I’ve had a lot of free time in the past 2-3 weeks which gave me a chance to get back to reading. I laid my hands on a Ken Follett epic – World Without End, sequel to his best seller novel Pillars of the Earth.

I must say it was delight to read this 1100 page saga which is written in true Ken Follett style captivating the reader till the end. The novel takes one back to ancient England to the era of King Edward III and very beautifully weaves a tale around a town which is fighting for it’s survival. The influence of clergy on the common man and the blind faith of people highlights the darker side of religion.

Power, politics, corruption and deception is pitted against love, sincerity and true devotion and the courage and will power to remain honest towards a cause. The pendulum keeps swinging in favor of either side keeping the reader hooked throughout.

It felt great to read Follett after so long. Looking forward to the next big one – Fall of Giants

Notes to Myself

"My power is in my willingness to be conscious
to be seen
to be emphatically myself.
I may lose a job, a friend, or my reputation
But I lose everything I am when I fail to act from what is at the core of me"

- Hugh Prather

Just a Thought: Nine

A benevolent dictator is nothing but a figment of my imagination.

The Emotion of Emotions

One of the interesting paradoxes of life is emotions and detachment. Humans are very complex and what makes them interesting is the varied emotions that they exhibit. Life would be incomplete without feeling the highs and lows of love, without spending some sleepless nights in anxiety, crying over unmet expectations, living and reliving dreams, turning green with jealousy, carrying an attitude for no reason and the list is endless.

However, apart from making our lives colorful, emotions also end up making us attached to things and people and this attachment brings with it pain and sorrow. It clouds reason and gives us that unique quality of being unreasonable, bringing excitement and unpredictability to our lives. There are times when this unreasonableness encourages us to denounce the various colors of life and take the spiritual path of detachment. We try to reduce the effects of emotions on our lives, try to be reasonable, objective and logical and not get too carried away by what our heart says or feels.

This is where I feel the paradox steps in. By being so “detached”, we reduce our pain caused by various emotions, but in turn hurt a lot of people around us, especially the ones who are closest to us. The pain and hurt just gets transferred. It’s like energy which can be only transferred not destroyed.

This is where we have to take a decision. The decision of walking the road with someone or standing alone at the fag end of it.

Don’t Lose Yourself

There are days that will pull you towards the grey

When one is truly stuck between contrasting views and emotions

When one is forced to take a stand which one would love not to

When one knows that both the parties are right yet one will end up on the losing side

When one knows that the decision will hurt one's near ones the most

It’s days like these that I fear that I’ll lose myself. It’s days like these that it’s important that whatever I do is in the larger good, keeping in mind the fact that all can’t win. It’s days like these when I must ensure not to get my vision clouded. It’s days like these when I must believe in myself and stick to my core

At the end of the day if I can look at myself in the mirror, then I’m sure I’ve not lost myself.

To stick or Not

It’s interesting to see the reaction of people when they are at the wrong side of the stick. The point of leniency, understanding and accommodation creeps in without them following the same principles. Such deviations can be made in societies that value self discipline. Self discipline in society is a higher stage of evolution which is developed over a period of time. Some are far ahead and some are far behind in this race.

Self discipline also comes from habit because that is the only way of functioning one is exposed to. It begins with a stick at times and gets ingrained in the system gradually. Take Singapore for an example. There is a severe punishment for littering, breaking traffic rules etc. there. It’s a stick method. However, gradually it will become the way of living there and the need for such stringent measures would not be required then.

There’s a lot of debate of the measures that Sanjay Gandhi took during the Emergency. He also followed the stick method. However, the objectives for which he was doing it were the need of the hour for a society as a whole. Many people would not agree with it but a benevolent dictator is better than any system of democracy, the only issue being that dictators are not benevolent. Maybe India could wish for one.