Farewell

Just when you feel that finally things are working out and you begin to dream about a pleasant future, plan how the coming years are going to be, all it takes is a second to make it all come crashing down. Yes, one painful second that can change your life forever. That second of helplessness when you are hearing those dreaded words, praying to God all the while that somehow some miracle can happen, time can stop or go back a bit or somehow you can win this loosing battle, you realize how one second and one five letter word can bring your world crashing down.

The realization sets in that you might never be able see that adorable face again. There were so many things that were yet to be done, yet to be said. You realize that all the things that you fought over were so trivial and that you’ll let her have her way all the time, only if she could come back. You’d listen to her all time and always do whatever she says, only if she could come back.

There are so many questions brewing up in your mind at this point of time. All the talk about fairness and justice and God being with you all the time. That whatever God does is for the best. Just tell me, where is the fairness and justice in God taking away someone who is so young, who just started her life, married nine months ago, who believed in him and prayed to Him every day. Where is the fairness and justice for a boy who was building a life for himself, was getting responsible and had left all bad habits purely for the love of his life? Where is the fairness and justice by taking away all that he lived for?

I guess there are no answers to these questions but the only thing that I can take solace in is that maybe she was God’s favorite child and she’s with Him now, in a much better place. Wherever you are, I pray and wish that it’s a much better place and you are much happier there. It was indeed an honor and privilege to be able to be a part of your life for whatever little time I could.

I’ll really miss you a lot Bhabhi.

Just a Thought: Two

Being on the other side of the table never hurt so much.

Letting Go

The more one begins to loose control over things, the harder one tries to grab it. It’s very interesting to observe how people begin to behave once they begin to feel that they are loosing power over something/somebody they once controlled. Take the case of people who are at the helm of affairs and are nearing their retirement. It gives them nightmares to think of the day when they’ll have to step down and get lost into the by lanes of anonymity, struggling to find a way back into the main stream. Similarly, the patriarchs of the family find it very hard to accept that the next generation is ready to take over and capable of taking decisions. It’s very difficult for them to decentralize the decision making process as they begin to feel that they are loosing their importance in the family.

It’s not a very desirable position to be in but like it or not everyone has to deal with it one day. The more prepared one is to do this, the easier it becomes to let go. This is precisely why the world stands up and takes notice (maybe even appreciates) people who have the courage to realize that it’s time to go and gracefully hand over the reigns they had controlled so far. It’s not easy to hand over your “baby” to someone else but then it’s better to walk away than to spoil your child’s future. Maybe letting go is the best option for the “baby” and for you.

These are difficult situations to be in and I hope that when my time comes I’m able to behave in a manner that is line with what the situation demands. After all letting go is much tougher than holding on.

Just a Thought: One

The noise within overpowers the calm around and causes disturbance. However, internal silence drowns all the chaos to bring in peace.

To be or not to be

To be or not to be. It’s quite a difficult question faced by a lot of us. It’s that constant conflict between what one is supposed to do and what one wants to do. It’s a constant challenge to one’s individuality. No matter what the so called intelligentsia and the drawing room discussions brag about believing in oneself and following one’s own path, the truth is far away. The reality is quite different. It takes quite a lot of courage to believe in oneself and try and to maintain one’s individuality in a world that is constantly trying to change you, a world that wants to breed conformists rather than thinkers who move you out of the comfort zone.

However, at the risk of sounding like one of the parties above I believe that the power of the youth can enable them to take the path not trodden. It’s in this period of one’s life cycle that one has the liberty to take risks, falter, make mistakes and still not loose too much. Life’s long and there’s enough time to catch up. If one cannot stand by one’s beliefs when the blood is hot and young, then will someone take a stand when there is a family to support? I guess not.

I strongly believe that unless we, the youth give it a serious thought and believe that it’s not that difficult after all, that we can be ourselves without being squashed, the future generation might inherent a very different world. It’s time that the smart, educated youth who are so talented start questioning and not doing things because they are supposed to do it else a job, a placement, a career defining opportunity, a B-school admission might get jeopardized. It’s time they realized that no one in this world has the power to screw your life till the time you believe that they have. It’s time that we stop existing and start living.

Behaviors

Sitting in my room this evening I was in a mood to introspect and one thing that instantly came to my mind was the way people behave in different situations. Living with 178 students with varied backgrounds (academically and geographically) it has been a hell of a ride, trying to understand human behavior. Working in various teams from the committee to the academic groups to the various interest groups in college one has to deal with people of various temperaments and working styles.

One thing that amuses me the most is that though people are expected to behave rationally, they do just the opposite. I think the reason for this that there is an underlying insecurity among people about something or the other which makes them behave in a way in which they are not expected to. However, in doing so they expose that very insecurity of theirs which would otherwise have been concealed had they been a bit rational in their behavior.

There could be a number of reasons for this insecurity like people not being comfortable with themselves, not being able to accept certain shortcomings in themselves, trying to be someone else so that people form a certain perception about them. For example a studious, serious person will try to be humorous just to be a part of a group, or a jovial, happy go lucky person will try to behave like an intellectual so that people don’t think that he’s good for nothing. Now what these people don’t understand is that in trying to be something else the group might not accept them anyway. Also a group of friends requires all sorts of people. It’s got to be a healthy blend of serious, intellectual, jovial, humorous people. Each one brings something to the table and each has his own importance in the group. The moment people can get rid of these insecurities and accept that each individual is different and everyone has some shortcomings, I think they’ll start behaving more rationally.